if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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