So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You pole danced in your parka.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
