jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
