sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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