the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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