my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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