they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
