May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize