Sponge bath it is.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You're like the curious george of whores
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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