I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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