there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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