1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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