Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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