this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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