Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
