But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
COCAINE IS GR8
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
