I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
