it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
