I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
