You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
