ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
