First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
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I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
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Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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