even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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