I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
