i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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