We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
