Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
