Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
