Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
