Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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