I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My liver just had a heart attack.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
