he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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