Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
