I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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