dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
