I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
