so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
