We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
