What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
