Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
