Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
