You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
