I hate your face
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
