Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
