shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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