Do you still have your period?
one might say we're banned from that church
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
