So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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