I am in a vortex of obligation.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
