i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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