i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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