Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
