After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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