How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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