you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize