My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
